Familiarities

I've come to the realization of just how affective familiarities really are. They can be reminders of the happiest of memories, or, of the most painful. But either way, they are still a part of everyday life. They play a big role that not many people notice.

While at camp a week ago, I had rested my head on the shoulder of one of my friends. It felt so familiar, but I didn't know why. Then I remembered that I used to do that all the time with an old friend of mine. I was, just for a moment, taken back to a brief memory with her. But, as suddenly as it came, it left.

I was just left smiling a bit to myself. Though some things have changed between my old friend and I, I still have good memories to look back on. Because of familiarities.

Satan's Arrows

So I went to youth camp for the first time in my life last week. I have never felt closer to God in my entire life. It felt so amazing to be in an all Christian environment, and not having to worry about the outside world for a little while. God did amazing work in my entire youth group (even of some didn't show it like others did). Healing is finally starting in the lives of us who were hurting.

But now that we're back home, Satan is trying his hardest to get us back in his grasp. Someone told me that when Satan attacks you, that means you're doing something right. He's working on every one of us, and we can feel it. But we just have to be like Job from the Bible, he had everything taken away from him by Satan who was trying tear him away from God. But he still kept his faith focused and strong.

I WILL NOT LET HIM DRAG ME DOWN AGAIN. Not again. I have felt free for the first time in my seventeen years, with four of them spent hating myself. I'm finally happy, I finally have joy in my heart like all these other Christians had described. I'm not gonna lose this.

The Need to Grow Up

Well, read something my mom put on Facebook. And can't help but feel part of it refers to me. Even if it wasn't, I still feel that way. This always happens. I have been afraid to grow up, I'm almost an adult and I still can't drive. How sad is that right? Well, I guess it's time for me to start now. So, even if I'm still a kid at heart I'll start trying to grow up. Even if it is scary.

Philippians 4:13

Again?!

I feel stuck....again. I don't know exactly what God wants for me yet. But it would be nice to have a record deal in his plans. Why would I have such strong Wants for this in particular? Maybe it's because I want to prove I can be better than I am right now. I can force myself not to be a shy, awkward person. That's how I feel sometimes. I stumble over my words and I can't get the knowledge out that I want people to see. Is God telling me to wait? Am I being selfish? Am I being a burden on people with how I'm living my life? I can't drive yet. Does that annoy or anger my parents? These questions always pop in my head. It drives me crazy. Why can't I be brave enough to take big steps like other people? Why am I always stuck?!

Starting Over

Recently I have started over in many things in my life. One way is inspired by a book I'm reading, "Practicing His Presence", where I will be trying my very best to think of God and have him on my mine at least one second every minute. It's hard, but for starters I always bring my mind back to Him as as often as I possibly can remember. It's like playing THE GAME. (yea, you just lost). I hope that plenty of you attempt to do the same. I was somewhat successful the other day, and I felt an amazing joy and peace come over me all that day. So I will continue to arrive harder for God in my life.

Problems; Plural

I feel unreasonably sad lately. I can't pin point exactly why, but it's just lingering there. I'm slipping back. I dread waking up in the morning and having to face the day. I have problems I suppose. No, I'm not suicidal or anything. But, it's really weighing me down. *sigh* I'm not myself right now.

The Blutrausch War

The sun finally rose as I watched from my spot in the grass. I hadn't slept a wink the entire night. The ocean breeze filling my nostrils with its salty sting as the water and sea foam crashed against the cliffside. I sat up stretching my arms to the sky. My mind had been racing to fast for me to sleep. The recent events that took place have been a mystery to all but the king and myself. I knew why it happened, but it's the cause that confused me.

Why would the king allow such a slaughter if he knew what the crowd was saying was true? Why take the lives of so many people if their requests were of good reason?

"Alaois, we must start moving before someone finds us here." my trusted colleague Katsuo spoke while standing up to stretch his newly woken muscles.

"Where are we headed?" Kotori asked while strapping a sack to one of the horses.

"West, to Caput." I stood.

"Caput? But, we have a price on our heads there." Katsuo paused.

"I have something to discuss with the Prince. Plus, a threat this big is a challenge too tempting to pass up. "

Katsuo shook his head and smiled. "Can't pass up anything can you?"

"Of course not. It's as if a freshly baked drumple is sitting right in front of me waiting to be devoured. It would be a shame to pass up the opportunity.

All three men laughed as they mounted their horses and bounded off toward the last city they knew would welcome their arrival.